Farewells and Good Wishes!

Farewell, My Colleagues,


This has been an incredible learning experience, and I will never forget how important communication and listening skills are to forming relationships. I realized that I have to work hard to become a great communicator, and it will be a lifelong journey. I have enjoyed all the reading material and the discussion posts. And this is one textbook that I will keep and use, along with some of the other resources.

I have the greatest respect for all of you and I hope and pray that you will all develop into great collaborators and communicators. Thank you for sharing your experiences, genuine comments, and encouragement with generosity.

The Journey towards Adjourning!

In my farewell of the group I mentioned in this week's discussion it was a happy/ sad adjourning, I was excited about my new job and sad to leave my colleagues and the patients I was fond of. The team and I set goals that were accomplished, and we grew close. However, one became my friend, and we stayed in contact and saw each other occasionally. The ironic part to my farewell is that my Doctor of Chiropractic was there, and I have been seeing him and the people who stayed for the past 10 years. But the unity of being in a team does form a symbiotic bond. While I remember all the times, we struggled, in remembrance, I only speak of the good times.

A group or team that was not mentioned is a classroom, where the children and teacher set goals. We went through the Tuckman’s Model of Group Development, when I first met the children we had to teach each other, we set goals, and began to work. Eventually, we were making progress, and our schedule set, the children knew what to do and how to do it.  When observations and assessments were done, the proof of our performance was evident. In the end, watching children leave to go to another classroom or school is the hardest closing I have experience. I never forget them, and I love and miss the children.

I am going to miss discussions, where we shared our hearts and minds. It will be bittersweet, knowing that this journey is over, and we will never have this opportunity again; learning together. I will miss the Professors who pushed me to excel, and especially the ones who encouraged me to perform at a new level. Hopefully, I will never stop learning, and perhaps encounter my college colleagues in that endeavor. And there is always the possibility of meeting face to face one day.

I know that setting a goal is the beginning and the completion the ending in whenever the setting of goals. We all came here to get our Masters, and as necessary as the journey is, our sights are on obtaining our degrees. Which is an ending we all strive for, the successful conclusion of reaching our goals. 

Haunting Conflicts of the Past

There was a parent who had a child in Early Head Start that transitioned to preschool, which made her a paying parent. Three months later I transferred out of the classroom to the front office, I noticed her account was in arrears. When I asked her what she planned to do about her balance she became angry. I was in an awkward position because this parent was getting loud and drawing attention to our conversation. I did not become angry or shout back at her, instead, I remained calm, and she had no one to argue with. I lowered my voice, speaking softly, I told her could we discuss this issue later if she would not mind.

Another incident was with a colleague, I approached her one evening when all our children had left for home. I said we were both teachers with equal pay, and I wanted her to start being a team player. She became upset and raised her voice, I raised mine and told her she never helps with the children and that she is not attentive with the children because she is out of the room or has her back to them. She had some things to say to my accusations, she denied them all. This had been ongoing for several months, and it had to change because I was at the end of my patience. I told her maybe we needed to take out disagreement outside so we could finish it without an audience. That when both quieted down, and the conversation ended. The next day she brought me a present and apologized. I also apologized for losing my temper, but I was adamant that she could not keep disappearing, only to come back and say she got sidetracked and still had to leave, again. I told her I needed her eyes because young toddlers must be cared for constantly. She was transferred to kitchen duty not long afterward.

In the first incident, I was in a position of authority, and the parent did indeed owe over $800.00, with the amount increasing each week. Her anger was surprising since she was aware that her child’s funded care had ended, and she was not paying. In hindsight I could have used a different introduction to the issue, perhaps the “Introduction to negotiation” by being “inventive about options” (Conflict Resolution Network. n.d.).  Although, the parent was aggressively provoked by the mention of money owed (O’Hair & Wiemann, p.218). There was no negotiation since she was angry from that day until her last day, but she did start to pay, and she never paid the arrears.

The argument with my colleague was provoked on my part because I was angry at the lack of professionalism. I can see how we did need to talk about our working relationship, perhaps with a mediator. We could have used an objective third party to ensure with stayed with the issues, and not veer into personal attacks (CRN, n.d.).  Most important I think I needed the skill of “Managing Emotions” found in the “Introduction-Conflict is the Stuff of Life” (CRN, n.d.).

From both incidents, I can see now that my communication with the parent was with respect because we already had a relationship. But her response was unexpected. And when I spoke to my colleague, there was no respect, and for that, I regretted it and later apologized.

Communication Evauations

The one thing that surprised me about the others who evaluated me is that their score of my communication and listening skills were in sync with my own evaluations. I really was surprised that my listening evaluations rated me as people oriented. And the high rating of my communication skills as being something I do not need to worry about. I take this survey by others as positive reinforcement. My self-esteem in communication was average because I learned some excellent listening skills I needed to employ. I have responsibilities to the teachers and families where I work, and sometimes I have less time than work. Feeling hurried, I had the impressions I was rushing conversations to get to the facts so I could address them and move on. I am sure that is the case in my mind, and that would not promote effective listening skills. I will be working on my communication and listening skills continuously.

One thing I learned from the exercise in initial impressions, is that I should wait on facts before concluding my observations. This is an excellent tool to use when meeting children and their families, I have to allow room for shared communication, asking questions, sharing information about myself, and listening. I will never again be able to think my first impressions are facts.

The lesson reinforced this week was that perceptions can be bias. I like to think that I am a positive person looking for the best in others. Sadly, that statement is not always right, and I realize how it has impacted my vision. Perceptions are natural attributes we all have, but the ability to allow these perceptions to dominate our treatment of others is overzealous. I will try to temper my reliance on believing I know what is beyond my knowledge. I am motivated to improve my understanding of others before I believe what I see or think.

Cultural Diversity in Motion

The past week in my work environment, I discovered people from across the country, and the world makes up part of the families, and college students. One student that is from Nigeria has developed her English skills from a couple months ago when I could barely understand her,to smiling asking questions and relating to me how she is doing. I found that my helping her get a background enabled her to start her classes in Early Childhood Care and she is very happy. When I first met her she was looking for childcare, and I did not have any grants available to help, but I tried. And she was treating me like a long-lost friend when I saw her in passing. The encounter made me realize that I made an impact by being patient two months ago, by listening carefully, we were able to communicate. Sometimes in the rush of accomplishments, when obstacles in communication arise it is easy to dismiss a person. I think in this instance I listen effectively, however, I am mindful that is not always the case. Because,:" Effective listening is a way of showing concern for subordinates, and that fosters cohesive bonds...."(Williams,n.d.).

 I am listening to communication as a person who genuinely cares, and this has benefited me, with a better understanding of what is being said, and what is not. A parent told me she took her child to the doctor because he had the flu. The day she brought her child back to school the director asked for the doctor's excuse, and the parent said she could not afford to take him to the hospital and did not have one. This parent was critical of the letter she received for unexcused absences, perhaps that is why she lied when I called to inquire about her son. The parent just moved from up north and I know her culture is different than Atlanta, and I will have to build a relationship with her that promotes trust. Beebe et al. (2011) advice was to become other-oriented, a process that will help me to treat others as they want to be treated. That is why I ran the conversation back through my mind when I called, I will be mindful to concentrate on finding out how she wants to be treated. It is possible that I did not give her a chance, or make her feel comfortable telling me of her financial situation. I would like to relate to her some resources available that might be of help for medical care if her child is in need. But I will learn about her worldview, ask some questions for clarification, and be willing to adjust my behavior to accept what is important to this parent(Beebe et al., 2011).

Learning About Communication

I watched a movie called “Panic in the Streets” staring Richard Widmark, Paul Johnson, and Jack Parlance. This movie was made in 1950, years before I was born in black and white and it started off with a little murder. But my impression were the police was apparently looking for the killer, and I thought perhaps the killer was in the armed services because Richard Widmark was in a uniform and in most of the scenes. Later when I listened to the movie I found out that Richard Widmark was a doctor and he was looking for the man who was a carrier of the Bubonic Plague. Without a doubt the movie was better with sound, I have watched silent movies but they would have a few words to tell what was happening. Without the sound I had to presume the characters roles and imagine the plot. The lesson I learned from this exercise and reading this week is that I could have heard and watched the whole movie and still not understand or recall what it was about.  According to O’Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven (2015), there are three parts to listening, sorting out what you hear and see, and   comprehending enough to give feedback(p.152).  I have listened to people without hearing them before, other things were on my mind, or my mind drifted aimlessly. After learning the importance of listening to children their families, and my colleagues I have changed my lackadaisical attitude of skip listening. Which is listening to some and skipping over the rest, I had to change that so I could communicate with understanding and respect. According to O’Hair, Friedrich,& Dixon (2011), the name for playing at listening is called “pseudolistening’ and it can be highly dangerous depending on your career. It was tragic to read of the 911 call which lead to death because of poor listening skills. This week’s insights have led me to realize that I need to listen carefully as if my life depended on it, indeed it could be someone else’s life.

A Competent Communicator

I think my Pastor is a great communicator because he is speaking from knowledge. It shows when

he speaks that he has done research on his topic. He knows the dynamics of the era, the location, and

the culture of the people. He also invites the listener to research his findings by directing you to the

texts his research contained. I am convinced of what he is saying because he uses the Bible to

interpret the Bible. Seldom does he speak on what he thinks; instead, he gives different places to

compare where more understanding can be accomplished.  I have heard lots of preachers during my

lifetime, some shout incoherently, others espoused their own beliefs as scripture. But I have to say

this man communicates with passion, never condemnation, with explanations, never demands. And

those qualities put him above the rest in my opinion. I would love to speak on a subject that I have

thoroughly researched and it flows out with no hesitation because I believe what I am saying.

Confidence comes from knowledge, and that is what the Pastor exhibits that I would emulate.